Separation Anxiety

The inevitable has happened. Savannah went to "school" for the first time today. We are making the transition back to work in baby steps. Savannah has two half practice days, today and tomorrow and Wednesday I go back to work. Someone suggested going back to work in the middle of the week so it wouldn't seem overwhelming and I think it will be helpful to get used to her being at daycare before my return to work. I think the hardest part for me was the physical act of dropping her off...just having to say goodbye to her and hand her off to someone. Her teacher called me around 10 and gave me an update. She took her bottle well and had been perfectly content, thank goodness. When I came to pick her up at lunchtime, she was all smiles and seemed to recognize me which of course made me cry all over again. Moms, isn't it amazing the first time your baby smiles at you, and you know it's on purpose? It's the most amazing feeling. It's better than anything money can buy, but if I could bottle that feeling and sell it, I'd be a millionaire. I did ok with the tears....just a mini breakdown in the daycare office as I was leaving (apparently it's not that uncommon!) and then again when I picked her up. Surprisingly, it was the directors words that put some things in perspective. She said as women, most of us spend a big part of our lives thinking about having a baby one day. If not, then at least those of us who have children think about it for 9 months non-stop...preparing for this baby. Then after a couple of months we hand it off to someone else. It's so messed up. So, I spent my whole morning number crunching and trying to figure out how I can stay home. Is it worth being poor for? Is she better off with me at home, but no savings in case something happens?

Well, whatever we end up doing, I need to get a grip for now. My mom once told me never to make any big decisions in a highly emotional state. I think that's probably good advice and it probably applies to this situation....no rash decisions now. Just go back to work, try and enjoy it and re-evaluate in a couple of months...I can do that right?

Never like to close out an entry on a sad note, so here are a few shots documenting our weekend. We had a lovely little weekend. We spent some time relaxing. I attempted to make a decorative cake, and we spent some time with Laura (whom I've decided Savannah will call "Lulu") and then spent some time with Tim's family on Easter Sunday.