Pooped

A big pet peeve of mine is when people's facebook statuses (or is it stati??) are nothing but negative. I don't particularly enjoy reading blogs that gripe and complain about how hard life it. But today, I have to get it out of my system and lament about the pure exhaustion I've been feeling the past couple of days. Let's put it out there first that everything is relative. There are mother's out there that have had it worse for sure. I do not know how single mother's survive. I don't know how women deal with unhelpful husbands. And don't even get me started on how people do it with multiples! Luckily, I've been blessed with a wonderful, helpful husband who is my eternal partner. Savannah really is a great baby. She's so even keel and happy most of the time. She only cries when something is wrong, and usually it's pretty easy to figure out what's bugging her. So I feel really bad about complaining. But I really want this blog to be about the truth, and letting other people know that facebook, myspace, twitter, blogs, whatever doesn't have to be all the cutesy stuff. I've had hard time the past couple of days.

I've been trying to figure out why I'm so tired. Like I said, it's not that Savannah's up screaming at all hours of the night or anything, it's amazing how having a baby in the house changes the whole dynamic of the household and how emotionally and physically draining it can be. I feel like it's the second shift when I get home from work, and Tim and I are tag-teaming it. It's kind of brought us close together in a way, but man, it's tiring. On top of that, I feel in over my head at work more often that not, I'm trying to cook healthy meals most every day, and I've committed to doing the P90x workout for the next 90 days (last day is July 18th!). One of my friends put it so well to me the other day when she talked about being a working mom. She said sometimes you just don't feel like the best mother OR professional. You are running out of the office as fast as you can at the end of the day because family comes first, and you feel like you're not the best mom because you can't be there for your kids 24-7. It's so frustrating.

So today, a very young, sweet guy in the elevator (probably 22) asked me if I had been hurt. I looked at him inquisitively and said, "No, why did you think that?" He said it looked like I was in pain and that I was walking slowly. Wow, that's bad. So I took that as a sign that I needed to make some changes.

Maybe I don't have to cook every single day, and maybe it's ok to skip a workout during the week. I really am determined to finish this P90X program, but maybe after that's over, I don't need to work out every day. Who are these people that do all this? Maybe they don't exist because I can't figure out a way to make it all work and be happy.

There. It's out of my system. I promise not to do it again for awhile.

I realized I haven't posted a picture of S in a while, so here she is in all her polka dot cuteness :-)