"When it comes to toddlers, sometimes it's more about deception that discipline."
Sounds kind of awful, but it's really genius. What I've come to learn is that the terrible twos occur because all of a sudden, the child is going from being the center of the universe to being expected to follow simple instructions, behave, and start to socialize and act like a somewhat normal human being. When you think about it, that's a big shock! No wonder they throw tantrums! It's not really productive (for me at least) to try and reason with a 22 month old...it exhausting. Yes, I definitely put my foot down, and discipline her when appropriate because she needs to know the boundaries. But sometimes facing this stage head on is more about strategic thinking and deception.
Example #1. The other night right before Savannah's bedtime, we had company. They brought a gift for her which included some bathtime tug boats. Well, she was fascinated with them. I don't know about you guys, but a toddler, plus guests at bedtime, plus attachment to a new toy = recipe for meltdown. I recognized this. I told her, "Savannah, let's go put the boats in the bathtub on the way to bed! Let's tell everyone night night!" Amazingly, she told everyone goodnight and proudly headed up the stairs and plopped the boats in the tub. Now I know every child is different, but I GUARANTEE you that had a whisked her away to bed and took the boats away she would have had a conniption fit.
Example #2. Savannah got a little Elmo from our friends, the Eders, for Christmas. She LOVES Elmo. So much in fact, that he has gotten promoted to nighttime sleep pal. I am perfectly fine with attachment toys, but one is enough. When she goes to school in the morning, she can take her kitty, but that's it. I don't want her to be one of those kids bringing in every toy in her room. I knew a meltdown would ensue if I didn't have a plan on how we were going to leave Elmo at home. When she got up the next morning, and wanted to bring Elmo down to breakfast, I told her, "Tell Elmo night night." This plans works sometimes, but she was not having it. Fine. So Elmo joined her and Kitty at breakfast. However, when it was time to go to school, I said, "Ok, Elmo is tired and needs to go night night. Put him to bed and we'll go get him when you get home from school." She promptly laid Elmo down. As she and her daddy were walking out the door she said, "Night night Elmo!" Whew! What a relief! of course I had to follow through and take her right to Elmo when we got home. She couldn't have been happier!
So sometimes you just have to put in a little effort and trick them into thinking it's all their idea. It's a learning process and my tricks don't always work, but it's definitely better than fighting her all the time to the point of exhaustion!
Deception.
I'm a wife, Mom, photographer, daughter, sister, friend. I love good food, weightlifting, Crossfit, and exploring. I love talking about things as serious as faith and purpose and as silly as good TV. This blog is about my attempt to thrive in our world.
2 comments
One of my favorite pieces of advice that you'll hear from any "experienced" mom is to offer options. When it's something that doesn't matter whether it goes one way or another, let them pick. The one we've been using a lot lately is whether to ride in the shopping cart or the stroller. She'd really rather not go into the store, but this makes her feel like she has some control!
Yes, that's one my mom has told me too! She says give them like two options, but don't leave it totally up to them. That way you avoid craziness and they still feel like they have some control and learn some independence!
Post a Comment