My Eight Happiness Commandments

Warning: Long post. However, this has been therapeutic for me, and I'd venture to say if you go this exercise it will be for you as well. As you may have noticed happiness has been a big theme on my blog lately, due to necessity. It's funny how sometimes we happen to find the things we need at just the right time. I stumbled across an article by Gretchen Rubin on Happiness, and then subsequently stumbled upon her blog. It's fantastic. Anyway, one thing she recommends as you journey on in your own happiness project, is to design your own happiness commandments. So, I've done it for myself, and I thought I'd share:

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1. Keep it simple, stupid – Also known as the KISS principle, this phrase was originally coined by Kelly Johnson at the Lockheed Skunkworks, creators of the SR-71 Blackbird and U2 spy planes. For me, this phrase reminds me that unnecessary complexity should be avoided. I’m notorious for over-thinking and over-complicating. I find myself most happy, when I cut out the garbage and keep life as simple as possible. More posts on this later.

2. Enjoy the Moment – I’m not sure where this phrase originally came from, but how many times have we really stopped to think what it means? I had time to think about this as I explored meditation last year. I took some meditation classes, and as part of our “homework” our instructor would often charge us with becoming aware of a simple task, such as washing the dishes instead of mindlessly completing it. When I learned to open my eyes like this, I was amazed at all I was missing. I also am guilty of thinking “if I can just finish abc task, then I can relax,” or, “if I can just accomplish xyz goal, then I will be truly happy.” Logically I know thinking this way allows my whole world to pass me by. However, practicing the art of staying in the moment, allows for a much more blissful existence.

3. It’s just money – This little mantra has a two fold purpose; it helps remind me to save and spend. For me, finding that balance is key to finding my happy place. There have been times, I’ve been so miserly, that I’ve denied myself a simple luxury, or even a borderline essential because I was worried that “it wasn’t in the budget.” However, let’s face it; to an extent spending a little money can make us happy. Please don’t misinterpret what I am saying. I am not saying money buys you happiness. For example: I’ve been wanting an ice-tea maker. The think costs about $20. I’ve been making the all too familiar excuses for not buying it like, “It’s not in the budget,” and “I don’t need it.” Although both true, I know I would use that stupid tea maker and that it would bring me joy to make Fran’s Fruit Tea (will explain that later, probably in another blog post). So dangit, I’m going to go get one! On the flip side, this little saying as well as some of the others, helps me to remember that it’s all just things. Its just money. You can’t take it with you.

4. Hell Yes! – I’ve recently posted my thoughts on the Hell Yes Philosophy and it’s a great little rule to try to live by when possible. This saying comes from a neat little book by Elizabeth Cogswell Baskin. When making a decision, simply ask yourself, “Is it a Hell Yes?” If it’s not a Hell Yes, then let your answer be “Hell no!” A good way to enforce Keep it Simple Stupid.

5. Give – No witty phrase here. Just give. Giving is a great way to make yourself happier. Not that we should give for that sole purpose, but it does help. And you don’t even have to give money; it can be time, support, or encouragement.

6. Be a Connector – One gift I believe that I have is the gift of providing connections. Whether aiding a person in finding a job, or introducing someone to their new favorite show, I have a knack for helping people find what they need, and convincing them to jump on my bandwagon. I think my dad and I both have this gift, and we’ve often tried to figure out how we could capitalize on this talent, however we’ve come up dry so far but I digress. For me, being a connector brings me sheer joy. Just having people share in my enthusiasm is enough payment for me. So I want to remind myself to always share and be a connector.

7. Keep in touch – What I mean by “Keep in touch” is keeping in touch and staying connected with both our physical earthly relationships as well as our spiritual ones. Personally, I feel happier when I stay connected to my friends and family. There is definitely such a thing as being over committed and having too many friends. However, I don’t think we were meant to walk this earth alone. Like earthly friendships need maintaining, so do our spiritual ones. When all of these relationships are in balance, I feel a like a much happier and whole person.

8. Don’t worry be happy – Of course this phrase comes from the popular song lyrics by Bobby McFerrin. Of course this is much easier said than done. When I think of this phrase I often think of a much more serious passage which comes from Matthew 6:25-34 “…Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, and yet I say to you, that even Solomon in all his splendor was not clothed like one of these…” I often think of the serenity prayer as well. Basically, change the things I can, and don’t worry about the things I can’t. It does no good. When I am able to accomplish this, is amazing the weight that comes off my shoulders, allowing for happiness to spill into new corners of my being.