What not to say to new Moms

These days the mid morning is my "me" time. It's when Savannah sleeps peacefully for a couple of hours and if I still have the strength and can get caught up on housework, thank you notes, journaling, etc. So this morning I'd like to write a few words of advice to childless folks who may have friends who are new mommies.

I've complained before about all the unsolicited advice people dole out to expecting moms. Unfortunately this doesn't stop when your little one arrives. However, sometimes I don't mind it...I can use all the help I can get :-) Another things that comes with new motherhood are constant questions (as it is with pregnancy as well). I want to mention the three of the most popular ones and expound upon one in particular. Here they are:

How is she sleeping?

So when are you going back to work?

Well who is keeping her?

Now I understand inquiring minds want to know. I myself have been guilty of asking new moms these very same questions. However, now that I'm walking this walk myself, I have decided I will never again ask a brand new mom when she's going back to work. Here's the thing friends, and this is all just from my perspective, the LAST thing I want to think about as a new mother is the looming date of my return to work. It breaks my heart that I do have to go back. I hate the thought of someone who doesn't have a vested interest in my child being her daytime caregiver. But it's what we have to do for the time being. Right now, in this economy, I'm trying to look at it as a blessing that my husband and I both have jobs.

And the sleeping question - it's only natural to wonder, but its stressful enough having your nights broken up into short stretched of sleep, and it's just added pressure having people ask about it all the time. Just makes me question my mothering skills. But I don't mind this question quite as much.

So all this to say, just think twice before asking a new mom about her impending return to work date. New moms are dealing with so emotions as it is and trust me, this question does not calm the waters. In my opinion, there's really no need to bring it up. Just a word to the wise :-)