Simplify your life and invest in others; can you do both?

Something has been on my mind and in my heart recently,  but I haven't been able to grasp the words.  Lately, I've felt I've lost equilibrium, and I couldn't figure out why.  Then in dawned on me.  I went to a MOPS group meeting a couple of weeks ago where the topic was "Embracing Rest" a topic I love and was much needed at the time.  The speaker (who's kids were grown) talked about how she experienced burn out as a young mom.  She encouraged us to practice using that little two letter word, "No."  In the very same week, I went to another get together for women in my area where we talked about taking off masks and being real with each other.  At the end of our time together we drew names and were encouraged to make "mini dates" with the women whose name we drew.  Developing and maintaining relationships in important to me, and I understand it's a two way street; you have to put yourself out there as we were encouraged to do that night.  But honestly I left feeling a bit overwhelmed, and now I think I know why.  I've noticed there is a theme geared towards women these days in church circles, self help books, and published pieces on the internet that say:

Learn to say no.  Simplify your life.  Only do what's important.  Take time for yourself.

On the other hand, a theme I hear another theme I hear days that goes like this:

Invest in others.  Put yourself out there.  Give back.

Can you do both?  I think so, but I haven't quite figured it out.  I find myself starved for quality time with my family. Some of my favorite times with them are when we put on some music, sit in the living room and read books, play games, write stories, and talk.  Lately I've found my schedule filled with kids' activities, girls nights, photography duties, and various as sundry other obligations leaving little time for those things at night.   On the flip side, I haven't lived in this state a year and I need friends, dang it!   I'm trying to get a photography business up an running smoothly.  I sincerely believe that deep relationships are key in living a fulfilling life and that God has called me to be a faithful friend and a good steward of the gifts he's given me.  I don't do well living life in isolation, but I burnout quickly.

I don't have an beautifully crafted, anecdote to conclude this post.  I simply have questions.

Do you find these messages to be conflicting?  If so, why?  If not, why not?

Have you ever found yourself in a place like this, struggling to find balance?  What worked well for you?  What didn't?